Friday, May 4, 2018

Marriage of Inconvenience, Ch. 1 -- Gold Digger


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"Hey, Brian, you look beat. Got plans for tonight?"

"Study. If I can stay awake. Only two hours on shift in the cafeteria today, but chem, physics, and biology labs before that. Yeah, I'm beat." Brian dropped his pack on his desk.

Mark grinned. "You gotta get out." He was stretched out on his bed in the two-man dorm room, relaxing in the cool early autumn evening breeze from the window.

"Find me a girl to go out with! Am I that bad looking? Nobody in the ward will give me the time of day."

"How many have you asked?"

"Let me see. Last Sunday, Jenny told me she doesn't go out with guys who don't have a car. The next day, Mari told me she was waiting for a returned missionary."

"Did she tell you his name?"

"Any RM, she said. Won't date a guy who hasn't finished his mission."

"Oh, brutal! Guess you're just gonna have to go." Mark swung his feet around and sat up with a lopsided grin.

"Not gonna be a missionary unless I can figure out what the Church means. I mean, yeah, the Church is a good influence in people's lives, but that Book of Mormon?" Brian shook his head. Then he looked back at Mark. "But you've found a reason to believe, you said." He pulled his own copy of the book out of its place on his desk and sat down, thumbing through it as if he were looking for something.

"Yeah. But I figured it out on my mission, not before."

"What if I go and I don't figure it out? How do I tell people, yeah, I'm out here teaching it, but I don't know what it means?" He closed the book and put it back, and turned to face Mark again.

Mark shrugged.

"How did you excuse yourself in going?"

"My dad told me I'd figure it out, and I guess I believed him."

"Just can't see it."

"Well, I'm not going to tell you you have to go, but it does limit your choices."

The two roommates sat in silence for a minute.

Brian looked out the window. "Last week, Kiki told me she couldn't go to a movie with a guy that she might have to ask to get her more potato salad in the cafeteria the next day."

"Really? Seems a little biased to me."

"Can't understand it. You'd think working part time made you some sort of pariah.

"If these women knew how much money you really have, they'd be crawling all over you."

"You think so?"

"Sure. Take Tami, for instance."

"Tami who works the same shift with me?"

"Yeah. I hear she's only interested in guys with real money."

"I've noticed she doesn't date much."

"Too durn busy studying and working."

"Like me."

"Like you. But you have real money. She'd date you if she knew about that."

"But I don't have money now. You think she's not going to worry about that?"

"Some women think about now. She thinks about her future. Maybe."

"That would be why she works so hard all the time."

"Tell her you have it in a trust fund and you can get it if you're married. Hint that you're interested in a marriage of convenience."

"You, a returned missionary, are suggesting something so mercenary? Isn't there something immoral about that?"

"Probably. But if the rules aren't working, ...." He laughed. "If you could get the attention of a girl that materialistic, it might help break barriers with other girls."

"That's doubly mercenary. Nah. Not gonna to do that."

Mark checked the clock on Brian's desk. "Whoa. Look at the time. Gotta go."

|***|

"Tami, why don't you date?"

"Nobody asks me out." Tami did not look up from her books.

Jenny watched her roommate from across the dorm room. "I've noticed guys looking at you. If you gave them even a little encouragement, I'm sure they would."

Tami still did not look up. She closed her eyes. She might have shuddered. "But you're one to talk. I watched you turn Brian down last week."

"Brian Hawkswell? He doesn't even have a cell phone. No car. And he has to work a part time job."

"So he's thrifty. I've watched him on the job -- he's a hard worker. If I let him, he'd probably do my job for me, too."

"Working class. I'm looking for managerial material. Besides," she added, in a decisive tone of voice, "he's not a returned missionary."

Tami shook her head. "Is having been a missionary all that important?"

Of course! It's everything! You can't get into the Celestial Kingdom without it!"

"Really? Well, I suppose, if a really rich returned missionary asked me out, I might consider it."

"See. You think money's important, too."

"But he'd have to be thrifty, too. Rich enough to have his own car and smart enough not to."

Jenny wrinkled her forehead. "You're teasing me."

Tami kept her head in her books. "I grew up poor. My mom had to do things she didn't want to do,  to pay rent and feed me. I came here to get an education so that doesn't happen to me -- or my kids if I have any. I didn't come here looking for some fantasy knight in shining armor."

"But if you found him, ...?"

"I don't believe in fairy tales."

|***|

Brian sprayed hot soapy water over the load of dishes, stripping them of leftover food. Then he passed the carrier through the hot wash station to Tami, who sprayed them down with clear hot water while he worked on the next load.

"You know something, I wouldn't have to work this job, ...." Brian took a dishcloth after some scraps of dried something that looked like gravy.

Tami didn't respond. She quietly finished rinsing the load of dishes and sent the carrier through the final rinse station into the dryer.

Brian was silent while he finished his load.

"Okay, that's enough for now. I'm going back out to refill the food counters." He grabbed a load of dry trays.

"Have fun." Tami took the load he sent through and started rinsing it. When she was done, she picked up a basket of spoons and another of knives from the dryer and followed him out to the serving area.

"So in what imaginary world would you be freed of working part time?" she asked as she passed behind him.

He checked the potato salad. "Salad looks low." He looked at Susan, their supervisor, standing at the checkout register. She nodded, so he went to the fridge.

Tami met him on her way to the steam table when he was coming back with potato salad. "Carrots," she said.

"Grandpa left me a trust fund."

A little later, when there was nothing that needed taken care of, they stood behind the counter watching and greeting the students who came through with trays to get dinner, keeping on eye on the supply of food.

"But you can't have the fund until you're thirty or something, right?" Her tone said she expected him to further embellish reality.

"No, if I go on a mission, I can have it when I get back."

"Why don't you go?"

"Wouldn't be comfortable trying to preach something I'm not sure I believe."

"So your grandfather wants to buy your faith?"

"No. There's another way I can get it."

"What's that?"

"If I get married."

"Bwahaha. Right. I'm sure you expect me to believe that." The students in line looked up in alarm, and Susan gave them a curious but warning look.

"Just making conversation."

"Right. Sure." She looked at the students who had stopped moving forward. "He was just making conversation."

Some of them nodded as if it made sense, and the line moved forward again.

|***|

Brian walked around the stacks into the study area and looked for a place at a table. Finding an empty chair, he set his pack down. The girl sitting to the right looked up and met his eyes.

"Ah. Sorry, I'll go sit somewhere else."

"It's a free library."

"You don't mind?"

Tami smirked. "You don't plan on doing something to keep me from studying, do you?"

"Not particularly."

Hesitatingly, he pulled the chair out and sat. "I didn't recognize, uhm, realize it was ..."

"You don't have to explain."

"I don't want you to think ..."

"Shh. You're keeping me from studying."

After he had been studying for about a half hour, He became aware that Tami was leaning back and stretching.

"You really expect me to believe you about your grandfather?" she whispered.

He turned and looked at her. "No. Sorry to bring it up." He kept his voice low.

"So it doesn't exist." She was challenging him.

"No, it's real enough."

"Proof or you're just high."

"Proof?" Brian shrugged. "So I'm high. What would you take as proof?"

"Your family's rich, right?"

"Non sequitur."

Tami gave him a dirty look. "Watch your language around me."

"Latin. It means you've made an unjustified leap in logic."

"You understand logic?"

"Yeah. A little."

"Hmmm." Tami looked at the books in front of her. "Give me some help here."

After another thirty minutes or so of study, Brian sometimes helping Tami figure out her introductory logic homework, Tami leaned back again.

"But if your grandfather left you a large enough trust fund to allow you to not work part-time, then why isn't your family rich?"

"Dad and Mom want all of us kids to learn how to make our own way as much as possible."

Tami chewed her pencil. "Okay, so they're rich, but they aren't giving you any. I think I heard someone say you're from around here. Where's your house?"

"Up near the point of the mountain."

"Above or below the remaining agricultural district?"

"Above."

"Can we see it from here?"

Brian rolled his eyes and looked at the wall. "Maybe. I haven't really tried."

Tami looked toward the windows. She stood up, beckoning him to follow, and walked to them. He stood up and followed reluctantly.

"From here, the humanities building is blocking the view," Brian said from behind her.

"So, if we went there, you could show me the house, right? And I could meet your family and they would admit they know you?"

Brian laughed. "I'm not sure my sister Joan would admit knowing me. She jokes around sometimes."

"Let's go."

"Huh?"

"Now's good for me."

"How?"

"My car."

"I should call first."

"No warning."

Brian cocked his head. "It's a Tuesday night, almost time to close the library. It'll take a half hour out and a half hour back. I'm not sure we'll be back before they lock the dorm doors." He turned to look at Tami.

Tami had already returned to the table, and was gathering her books. "Proof or you're a liar."

"Non sequitur!" Brian complained as he gathered his books and hurried after her.

|***|

"This is my house." Across the substantial front yard, the front windows showed a few lights through the curtains, as if someone might still be up.

"The name on the mailbox is Hawkswell." She looked at him.

"What did you expect, Fujimoto?"

She laughed and looked back. "And if we can't make it back before curfew, I could just spend the night in a spare room or something, right?"

"You'd probably get my old bed, I'd get the couch in the living room, and I would get a long lecture from Mom before being allowed to sleep. All of that after we called the dorm moms to explain why we're not there."

"I could tell everyone tomorrow I slept in your bed."

Brian gave her a sharp look.

"Kidding." She grinned and turned off the engine. "Can I look inside?"

Brian rubbed his forehead with his middle finger, perplexed. "Okay, okay. Let's go. But I guarantee they'll get the wrong impression about you."

Tami was already opening her door.

At the door, Brian rang the doorbell.

Tami raised her eyebrows.

"They probably already have the alarms set."

After about a minute, Brian raised his hand to ring the doorbell again, and the door opened.

"Hi, Joan."

The high-school age girl at the door looked out through the screen with a puzzled expression. "May I help you?"

Tami rolled her eyes.

"Joan, not now. Just tell Tami I'm your brother. We need to get back to the dorms."

The girl shrugged. "What?" She looked through the screen again, at Tami and then at Brian, still with a puzzled expression on her face, then back to Tami. "I guess you're Tami?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know this guy."

"Joan."

"Hah. We're gone." Tami turned and descended the walk.

"Joan, quit playing around."

"You can walk back," Tami called over her shoulder.

Brian followed. "I told you she jokes around sometimes."

"See you tomorrow," Tami said as she climbed back in her car. "Waste of gas."

Brian turned around and went back up the sidewalk. "Joan, see what a mess you got me in?"

"Do I have to call the police?" the girl asked from the doorway.

Tami started up and drove off, glancing behind her. As she turned the corner, she saw the girl come out of the house, followed by an older woman that she guessed was the girl's mother. She stopped and rolled down the window to see if she could hear.

"... gold digger, Mom. Brian hasn't a .."

One corner of her mouth lifted and she turned off the engine and the car lights, waiting to see what would happen.

"I don't ... Brian. ... walk back to campus." She could barely distinguish the words.

"Curfew, Mom."

Their mother pointed back towards campus. "Knock ... the dorm mom's door. ... part of her job."

Brian's shoulders sagged and he turned and walked toward the street.

"Be careful, and call me from the dorm ...."

As he drew even with Tami's car, she called through the window. "Hey, just kidding. We can still beat curfew. Get in."

Brian frowned, but opened the door and climbed in. She drove off and they both sat in silence for a few minutes.

At a stoplight, Tami said, "Your mom's pretty harsh."

"You heard?"

"Yeah."

"What my sister called you, too?"

"Hey, she's just feeling protective about her big brother. And she's right. If I were legit, she'd've heard of me before we came. Theyre not bad people, you know."

Brian looked at her and grinned as the light turned green and she pressed the accelerator.

|***|

"I'm back at the dorm, Mom. Tami waited for me."

"Glad to hear it. Who is she?"

"She works the same shift I do in the cafeteria. Didn't believe my family lives on the hill."

He heard his mother's chuckle. "She left so quickly. Couldn't tell anything about her."

"Curfew, you know. We're not dating or anything."

"Yet. Well, take care of yourself and be good to your friends."

"Thanks Mom."

"Sleep tight."

"You too."

|***|

"I saw you studying with Brian yesterday." Mari hurried to keep up with Tami on their way to upper campus from the dorms.

"Oh?"

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"He knows logic pretty well. Very helpful."

"Well, I mean, isn't he dirt poor?"

"Apparently not, although I'm not sure what that has to do with anything."

Mari stopped in her tracks and looked after Tami, who kept going. Then she hurried to catch up again.

|***|

"Mark, you were right. Breaking the ice with Tami seems to have broken the ice with other girls."

Mark dumped his load of clothes in the washer. "Great. How'd you break the ice with Tami?"

"I'm not sure." Brian continued pulling clothes from the dryer.

"Nothing about marriage of convenience?"

"No, not that."

"She doesn't mind that you're dating other girls?"

"We're just study partners."

"Heh. Well, don't waste your opportunities, man. So how was the movie with Kiki?"

"We don't seem to be interested in the same movies. She wanted to see Kurosawa's Ran."

"Oh. Ran. Hey. You think ..."

"She asked about you."

"I'm on this."



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