Previous: The Valuable Package
I got up around sunrise, trying to avoid waking Teru while I slipped into the now dry furoba to change quietly into running shorts while dodging the hanging laundry. It only took a minute for me to change, but she was sitting up when I opened the door.
"Do I get to go run with you?"
"If I'd known you were awake, I'd have asked you to help me move the laundry to the veranda to get it all in some fresher air and at least some smog-filtered sunlight."
"Smog?" She stood and opened the full-length veranda windows. "It doesn't look that bad today."
"True."
"Well, hand me something."
It only took a couple of minutes to get the laundry hanging outside on the sao, and we were out the door and doing light stretches and warmups on the walkway outside.
"Race you to the bottom!"
"Hey!" I followed after her.
She was waiting when I got to the bottom. "You didn't even try."
"Saving my energy."
"So I should have asked if you're doing a 10K practice run this morning."
"Heh. No, just three. Fifteen minutes, plus or minus. Saving my energy for work."
"Oh. Good. Which direction?"
"Let me do some pushups first." I dropped to the ground and did ten easy pushups, and she dropped and matched me stroke for stroke, including the achilles tendon stretches I did at the end. We stood and did a few more stretches while I thought about the routes I had learned so far.
"A run with a park and a pond?"
"Sounds good."
I led, focusing on getting my muscles warmed up and working, and she settled into her own rhythm beside me. We passed a pre-school/kindergarten and its playground, and turned, running beside a large open culvert for several minutes. Then we tuned off to run through a medium sized park with a flower garden and a large irrigation/fire-reserve pond and lots of trees. Ducks and swans floated on the surface of the water.
"Can we walk for a little?"
"Sure. If you look close over there, you can probably see turtles." I pointed out where the turtles tended to congregate, and, sure enough, there were about ten visible in the post-dawn light, their shells mostly hidden in the water.
Teru stepped close to me and tried to slip her hand into mine, but I reached around her waist and gave her a sideways hug instead. She resisted for a moment, then leaned against me.
"Teru, I want both you and Jun to be happy."
She stiffened, and I let her back away.
"And I'm not really sure if I can make you happy."
"I was feeling just a little happy a few seconds ago."
"Me, too." I was not lying.
We stood in silence for a few moments.
"We need to get breakfast." I reached at and tapped her lightly on the shoulder. "What time do you need to leave?"
"I should have lots of time for prep if I leave about nine fifteen."
"I'm on the late shift today, so I'll be starting at ten thirty and ending at seven thirty. I'll head out about quarter to ten, and I should be back to the apartment a bit after eight. If you're not picky, there's enough food in the fridge for today, but I'll need to do some shopping tonight."
"I can be not picky, and I can help with the shopping."
"Okay. I'll call the police and church at lunch and hopefully things will start coming together to get you a real place to stay."
She didn't say anything.
"Probably you'll have to stay at my apartment at least tonight."
"I don't mind."
"I kind of don't, either." I refrained from qualifying what I was saying. It was safer that way, even if some people might think it less honest. Shoot yeah, I could have easily just asked her to stay with me on a permanent basis. It's not like we were strangers. Her brother and I were best frenemies from way back, but she and I had become pretty close friends along the way, too.
But there is one kind of honesty that ignores tomorrow, and I thought I knew something about the limits of that kind of honesty.
Teru's stomach growled, and we both laughed.
"Well, let's see what you have planned for breakfast, since it sounds like I'm invited."
I grinned, and we headed back out of the park.
"Miso and Sanma?"
"Watered-down soybean paste and saury. Doesn't sound bad."
"Broth base. Soy broth base. And I add a bit of fresh cabbage and celery."
"Cabbage? Weird, but I can give it a try. Rice?"
"Day-old that I didn't use last night, waiting in a sealed bowl in the fridge."
"You still don't like to bother making o-nigiri and wrapping them in plastic wrap."
"Nope."
"Oh, well. Stick it in the microwave?"
"Of course. Unless you like it cold."
"Depends on whether you got it cooked right and got the bowl sealed right."
"Hah."
We listened to the rhythm of our feet for a bit.
"So there are no leftovers other than the rice to make lunch with. I can buy my lunch today. What about you?"
"Only four hours on shift, so there's no break to eat. I can eat when I get back. You were planning on cooking some stir-fry last night, right? I'll see what I can do with that, if you don't mind me sharing."
"That'd probably work."
Back at the apartment building, we cooled down with more standing stretches before we went inside, then did some final stretches on the tatami flooring. The close quarters was a bit much, but I quelled my hormones. It was really tempting to think about how sexy she was in my shorts and tee-shirt. Never mind.
I put on a small pot of water to simmer, with shredded cabbage, for my weird miso, while Teru washed her face in the furoba. Then she put the rice in the microwave while I cleaned the sanma.
"I'll fry the fish."
I laughed. "Don't trust me?"
She poked me in the ribs and grinned. "I'll take my turn."
I stirred the miso into the cabbage water while she watched approvingly, and then she took over at the burner.
When it was done, I asked the blessing of grace, and breakfast was good, and it was nice to have company, even though the quarters were tight, with the low kotatsu table set up between us.
After breakfast, Teru dried the dishes and put them away while I washed.
"So what are you going to do now?" she asked as she dried the frying pan. "There's at least an hour and a half before we go to work."
"I was planning on studying for the kaigo certification."
"What's to study about taking care of old people?"
"Elderly people. And the manuals aren't really about taking care of them. You learn that on the job. The manuals are for learning how to talk about what you do, so you can write reports and communicate about who needs what."
Teru thought about that for a moment or two. "So, say, an old, I mean elderly woman needs her diaper changed, and you can't tell anyone unless you know what's in the manual?"
"There are several kinds of diapers, so, actually, yeah. You can communicate more quickly if everyone uses the same language to describe the diapers and any skin conditions a resident might have, and when you have three people needing attention at once, you need to communicate quickly."
"I guess I can see that. Do you mind if I get started on the stir-fry now instead of fixing it after I get back? Then you could take some for lunch."
"Sure. I mean, no, I don't mind. That sounds like a great idea. Maybe I should get a pot of rice started, too."
I washed the rice and added a cup of rolled pearled barley, and set the rice cooker going. Then curiosity or something distracted me, and we ended up working on the stir-fry together.
We still had a half an hour before Teru left when we finished getting lunch ready, and we sat back down at the kotatsu to relax.
"I've gotten into the habit of reading a little scripture before work. Are you interested in reading together?" I pulled my physical scriptures off the shelf rather than pulling the electronic copy up on the phone.
"I can try it again, I guess."
"I guess I'd better find something interesting to read." I grinned and thought for a moment. "Oh. I'm embarrassed that I have to look this one up."
"I promise not to tell."
We shared a sloppy grin.
"Here it is." I read slowly, reinterpreting as I went:
Why waste your time thinking about your clothes?"It doesn't really say that." Teru blushed.
Look at the weeds in the vacant lot. They grow without hard work. They don't go to fabric stores or use fancy sewing machines, and they don't go to expensive boutiques.
But when they bloom, they are better dressed than any of the beauties of the Geinōkai, or of any country's entertainment industry. Or than any country's well-dressed dictator, for that matter.
If nature dresses the weeds in the vacant lots that well, when they just shrivel up in the heat of the day, why can't you have the faith to see that nature dresses you even better?
"I vouch for the translation."
"Let me see that."
She read the original passage carefully, and thought for a bit. "I think I like your translation. It helps me see what those ancient words say." And she kept reading. "What's this mean?
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."What is this 'kingdom of God' thing?"
"Well, some people seek for the kingdom of God by going on pilgrimages to holy places. Some seek for it by building church buildings where people can get together to talk about God."
She did not look satisfied. "What about the militaries and empires? What was it the all those knights in the western world went on?"
"Crusades?"
"Yeah, that."
"God doesn't want to build his real kingdom that way, although there are many examples of humans getting confused about such things in history, partly because the Gods work with their children anyway They can, confused or otherwise."
"So how do you see it?"
"I figure I should be looking for the kingdom of God inside me, by trying to be a good member of the kingdom of God. And a good example helps others to find the kingdom of God, which builds the kingdom."
"How do you do that -- be a good member of the kingdom? Do you train for it or swear allegiance to God instead of the emperor or something?"
"I try to live by the Savior's teachings, and to follow my conscience. Basically, be a good person."
Teru looked a little worried. "What if my conscience tells me to do something hard? I mean, really hard. Is that what the next verse means? Take therefore no thought for the morrow: -- Morrow is like an old way to say tomorrow, right?"
"Pretty much."
"-- for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." She wouldn't look at me.
"Something about the way you're asking that bothers me." And a thought came to my heart. "If your conscience is bothering you about you staying here alone with me, that's one thing. It should. And we should be looking for better arrangements. But if there's a voice telling you to do something like sneak out and sleep on the streets instead, that's not your conscience."
"No?"
"No. That would be even more dangerous for you. And I would have to take vacation time that I can't afford, to go looking for you."
"Would you?" She looked up, seeming to focus on some point far beyond the wall behind me.
"Yeah. I would. And you know I would. Don't test me, okay?"
"Oh." She looked a little confused as she returned her focus to me. "Okay. But if it's wrong for me to be staying alone with you, ..."
"What would be even more wrong is take the wrong advantage of the situation, take advantage of each other, say, by making out. We haven't earned that right."
She reached out and put her hand on mine, where I was holding the book, her face reflecting both surprise and trepidation. "Make out?" She almost squeaked.
"Uhm, yeah. It's tempting."
"You do love me."
"Well, yeah. Love has a lot of meanings, and I love you in several of them." I stopped and swallowed.
Silence stretched out.
She braved the silence first. "Earn the right?"
"Uhn, yeah. Earn the right."
"How do we do that?"
"Well, we've known each other for a long time, and I've known I liked you for a long time, well, yeah, I guess I've known for a long time. Huge crush on you. I missed you while I was overseas doing my service."
The fact that I had often wished to see her was not a revelation to me, but the possibilities that lay before me now were. I could see that it was something of a revelation to Teru that I would admit it.
"Surprisingly, I love Jun, too, even if he tends to be a pain in the neck at times. I just needed to have him out of my life when I got back from my service. I needed room to start laying out my own plans by myself, just me and God. Maybe I didn't really realize until now --" I had to stop to think, "-- how much I've missed you."
More silence, then Teru said, with an inscrutable expression, "Well, I guess I don't need to keep trying to think up ways to get you to ... to get your attention."
"You definitely have my attention."
"But kissing is nice." Her expression was inscrutable.
I had to swallow three times before I could talk. I whispered. "It would be." Then I cleared my throat. "But I need to not do that until we are not spending nights together, anyway. Not safe for you or me."
"Oh. Wow. Okay. Sure. I'm okay with this. Sort of. But if I find a more socially acceptable place to stay, are you going to forget what you just said?"
I really wanted to just kiss her and settle the question, but I knew settling the question physically would not settle the question in other important ways.
"You have to trust me. We have to trust each other, and let each other be free to forget, if that's what would happen. That's how we earn the right to kiss like that. This is way too fast, even knowing each other as well as we do."
She bit her lip and pouted. Then grinned lopsidedly. "I think I can do this. But I might change my mind."
"I'll worry about that if it happens, but that's part of why both of us should be patient."
"You're being too intellectual."
I shook my head. "Did you know my parents separated while I was gone?"
"I heard ... okay, you need some space and I'm not giving you any if I'm pushing your buttons."
"Right."
"Sufficient unto the day ..."
"Is the good thereof, too."
"Is there a scripture for that?"
"I'm sure there is. I'll have to look for it. Later."
She took both my hands in hers, and we spent a few moments in silence, not quite brave enough to look each other in the eye.
I noticed the position of the sun and checked the clock. "Look at the time."
"I don't want to go to work, but I guess that's more temptation."
"Yeah."
So Teru went to her job and I went to mine. And I spent a good part of the morning trying to wrap my mind around what I had just admitted to her. And what she seemed to have admitted to me. No, what she had admitted.
On my way to the train, it occurred to me that Teru and I hadn't exchanged contact information. In fact, I hadn't seen her cell phone at all. I was puzzling about this when I boarded the train and saw the woman I had talked to the previous day.
"You're kind of quiet this morning." She looked at me inquisitively.
"Yeah. Too much to think about."
"Care to share your burdens with ...," she paused and seemed to be considering her words. "... a stranger?"
"Not today. It's kind of private."
She seemed a little disappointed. For some reason, I didn't think it was a good idea to admit just then to her that I was in such an ambiguous situation with my best frenemy's kid sister. And that just made me more confused.
She turned to look out the window. "I'm sorry I wasn't very friendly yesterday. I thought you were talking to me at first."
"I suppose that would have seemed sudden."
"You're going to work?"
"Yeah. You too, I guess?"
"Heading to school. I'm a junior this year, majoring in information science."
"Oh. I, erm, work as a bottom-grade care worker in an elder care facility."
"People stuff. Are you saving up for med school?"
"Saving up for school, anyway. Been out of the country for two years. Not sure what I'll study, just yet."
"Out of the country? Study abroad?"
"Serving God."
"Are you a Christian?"
"Yeah. How about you?"
"I'm a Christian, too."
And we talked about religion and stuff.
We came to my stop first, and while I walked from the station I was complaining to God for trying to confuse me. By the time I got to work, the thought had made its way into my consciousness that I still really needed to know I had options, just as much as Teru did.
Backed up at https://joel-rees-economics.blogspot.com/2019/10/bk-sudden-roommate-3-running-mate.html.
No comments:
Post a Comment