Previous: Bad Date
In my dreams, things their Aunt Fumiyo had said, both directly to me and in my hearing, and things she had arranged for us to do when we were much younger, came back to me.
I dreamed of the three of us playing in the Sumaguchi's bath house and attached meditative gardens before retiring under her watchful eye to the sleeping room. Jun and I were six and Teru was two the first time I stayed overnight with them, but the over-nighters continued for the next five years.
Among certain segments of this country, even in these modern days, people don't in general think twice about young children of separate families bathing or sleeping together. Children are children, and exploring is natural. And there are still public baths which are not segregated, even for the adults. In many old traditions, it is simply not cause for thought.
My dreams shifted, to one of the last times I spent the night at their house.
Mixing western and eastern traditions randomly can make a mess. In the neo-Victorian western tradition, there are things that should not be talked about in mixed company, in no small part because of the excitement, confusion, outright panic, and other forms of stimulation just talking about them can cause. In many far eastern traditions, it may be that they are usually spoken of in whispers and/or with amusement, but they are not really forbidden. Nobody even gets very excited about them, possibly because of the close quarters they traditionally live in.
I would not mention them here, but what happened that night altered our relationships significantly.
"Oh, how cute." Aunt Fumiyo examined the water in the tub. "Did you know, Ryō-chan? According to your Bible, you and Teh-chan are now married."
"Married?" The eleven year-old me was doubtful, occupied as I was with the strange and unfamiliar feelings of the wash of what I did not know at the time were called hormones in my circulatory systems.
The evidence she claimed was before my eyes, floating in the water of the bath -- not that I understood why it was evidence or what it was evidence of. What I understood was that it was something I had not seen before that had somehow come from inside me, and it seemed to be associated with those strange and unfamiliar feelings.
"Married!" Teru was laughing happily, splashing playfully in the water in front of me, innocent of the meaning of what had happened, only marginally aware that her nearness had played a part. "But ya still have cooties. Ya can't kiss me!"
Jun honked a horse laugh from the other yokusō, where he was soaking in water hotter than I was used to.
Aunt Fumiyo scooped the viscous whitish droplet out of the water with a clean cloth napkin. "In our traditions, we should present this to the go-between, as evidence that you and Teru are compatible. But I'm not sure it would persuade your parents. I don't think they understand their own scriptures."
The traditions she mentioned are not universal in our country. They apply, in fact, in a rather limited cultural scope. And irony is irony, whether intentional or not.
Aunt Fumiyo did not attempt to embarrass me about it, nor did she even comment further on the subject that night.
But when I slept over the next week, Jun was told to take his bath early. Uncle Nozomu joined his wife and Teru and me in the bath house, and Aunt Fumiyo began her lessons. She was well organized and used correct terminology, and, I have to admit, her lessons were more instructive, both functionally and morally, than the lessons we would later receive in the public school system.
She and her husband did not demonstrate the sex act itself, but they did show us what would go where when it was time to start learning how to make babies -- and not before it was time. They were careful to make sure we understood the not-before part, although they did not specify how the appropriate time should be known. Aunt Fumiyo said it was better for a couple to learn technique from each other than to be taught by other people, or learn from such things as magazines designed to rob people of their freedom.
Uncle Nozomu mostly left the lectures to his wife, but, when she told us that it was not a good idea to have more than one partner in making babies, he put his hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eye and said,
Son, at bare minimum, every woman you have sex with holds a new set of microflora and microfauna that you expose your body to, and a new set of cultural ideals and demands that you expose your soul and your freedom to. That's one more set of opportunities to get sick and one more set of opportunities to lose control over your life. And if she gets pregnant, there's a child you must assume responsibility for.And he turned to Teru and said, "Women and men are not equal in this. When a woman has sex with more than one man, the dangers to her health and her freedom are ten times as great."
Both Teru and I asked him what he meant, and he said, "Take too much freedom now and you end up losing it later."
Fumiyo shook her head and splashed a bucket of water over her husband's head, and said, "Just remember it's a good idea not to have sex until you make a proper commitment, and it's a bad idea to have more than one partner."
One more thing Uncle Nozomu said to me that night that left it's impression on me, sitting partially covered by a towel out in the meditative garden: "Son, when the time comes, Teru is going to need a good man. You're the best man I know of for her."
That was the last over-nighter, the last time my mother let their Aunt Fumie take charge of me. And it was, in fact, one of the last times I remember speaking with Uncle Nozomu.
My parents immediately took the time to correct any misconceptions I might have obtained from the experience, Dad apologizing for not being aware of the changes his son was going through, and Mom apologizing for just assuming that Fumiyo would have been having us bathe and sleep separately well before Jun and I reached puberty, and not checking.
My dreams changed again, and again I saw children playing together in the Sumaguchi's bath house and gardens under Aunt Fumiyo's watchful eye. But these four children and Aunt Fumiyo were all a decade older.
I now saw clearly that Aunt Fumiyo had been deliberately working to bring me under the influence of their family -- into their kumi -- for a long time. It was not yet clear to me why, but it seemed clear I had been chosen by their family as Teru's o-miai aite from a rather early age.
I assumed Jun didn't intend it that way, but he was helping Fumiyo Sumaguchi's plans when he brought Teru to me for protection.
Once again, my dreams shifted, and Teru was sleeping curled up against me, the scent of her hair in my nostrils, her body warm against mine. It felt like a very real dream, and the way my body was responding was very inconvenient.
Part of me wanted to stay in the dream, but part of me struggled to wake up.
My eyes opened, and I saw my room bathed in the light of the full moon.
But I did not see Teru.
She was not curled up with me, but she was also not lying across from me on the futon.
My body felt cold where the memories of the dream said she had been.
There was no place in the room for her to hide, so I checked the veranda. That's where I saw her, standing with her back to me in the moonlight, looking out over the darkened city.
"Something wrong?" My voice felt strange in my ears.
She half-turned, and her silhouette cast by the moonlight on my tee-shirt showed me things that I had been avoiding seeing.
"You're awake." Her voice was little more than a whisper.
"So are you." I looked away, distracting myself with the clock on the floor. One thirty. I tried getting up, but my legs and arms wouldn't obey my will.
She turned my question back to me. "Are you okay?"
"Not really. Rough dreams. How about you?" I mentally kicked myself for repeating the question.
"I had some dreams, too, dreams that kind of scare me. I think I want to go for a walk."
This time I was able to get my legs underneath me and stand up. I joined her on the veranda and we stood together looking out across the city lights shining in the dark instead of at each other.
I broke the silence. "So, do you want me to go for a walk with you?"
"Better than walking alone. Maybe."
I turned, and she followed me to the entryway without saying anything more, grabbing her cardkey as we left. We descended the stairs in silence and walked aimlessly for ten or more minutes until we came to a park with a playground.
"I haven't seen this park before." Teru went to the swings and sat in one, kicking herself back. I followed and caught the swing, then gave her a gentle push. She swung away and then back to me and I caught the chains again.
She leaned back into my arms, and we stood there for a moment, giving each other warmth. Then I pulled the swing back and pushed gently again, and she took over, swinging under her own power.
I sat in the swing beside her and pushed myself off, and we raced to see who could get the highest arc, until both of us were flying horizontal at the peaks, synchronized with each other in the moonlight. Then, as if mutually hypnotized, we both left off pushing, letting the swings slow down naturally.
Before the swings stopped, Teru jumped out of hers. "This is not helping me get my balance back."
I used my feet to stop, and stood up. "Nor me."
She turned to me. "What are you doing out here in your pajamas?"
I looked down at what I was wearing. "You're right. Let's go back.
We held hands as we walked.
I spoke hesitantly. "I dreamed about when we were young and I would spend the night with Jun and you. And then we weren't children any more in my dreams. And there was a fourth in the bath house with us."
"Who was the fourth?"
"I didn't see her clearly."
She stopped and leaned back into my arms, shivering. I wrapped both my arms around her and hugged her until the shivering stopped, and we resumed walking.
"And I remembered things that your Aunt Fumiyo said. And things she had us do."
"Did you dream about the time when Aunt Fumiyo said we were married?"
"I did."
"What about now?"
I guessed at what she was asking. "You mean nocturnal emissions tonight?"
"You say that so casually."
"It doesn't matter, but, no. Although I was kind of on edge when I woke up."
"Oh." She took some time to think. "She's been trying to put us together since when we were pretty young, hasn't she?"
"Apparently so."
"Why?"
"Why? indeed." We continued to walk in silence.
As we neared the apartment, Teru spoke. "I dreamed the same things. And some other stuff. Then I woke up curled up against you."
I stopped. "Then that part wasn't a dream."
She came to a stop too, and turned and pulled me to her, with a fierceness in her eyes that should have scared me. "I did not consciously move there, but I didn't want to move away, either. But then I could feel your body responding."
"Uhm ..."
"It's only natural." She smiled, and the fierceness changed to gentleness, and the gentleness made my heart pound. "But I know you want to wait. And if I hadn't gone to the veranda, I don't think I could have waited any more."
I didn't know what to say.
"I want to kiss you, but if I do, ...."
The silence dragged out and I fought my own impulse to close the remaining gap between us.
"If I do, I'm pretty sure you'll have to put me in your family registry now."
Finally, there was something for me to say. "We'll both be giving up our right to choose before we make the formal commitments before the law. Dad told me he and Mom made that mistake, and that's what he thinks is driving them apart."
She looked down, deliberately breaking the connection between us. But the connection didn't really break. "In my family, that's apparently the way things get done. Promises, yes, but the legal stuff later."
"Well, we can't stay out here all night. We both have work today." I was the one who said it, but it was Teru that moved first, and we returned to the apartment still holding hands.
We lay down on the futon, carefully placing the rolled-up kakebuton between us again.
"Are you going to be okay?" Her voice was almost pleading.
"We're going to be okay, but both of us need sleep."
"Can you pray for us?"
Teru's suggestion moved me back to my knees, and she followed suit, kneeling in front of me and taking my hands. And we both prayed, in words and in our hearts, until sleep took us again.
For the first time in several days, my alarm went off before I woke up. I reached to shut it off, trying to reorient myself from the jumble that we had fallen asleep in. Teru was lying across my chest, my legs were still bent awkwardly, and the partially flattened kakebuton underneath me felt lumpy.
Teru rolled off of me and reached my phone first. She handed it to me. "Did we make it through the night okay?"
"I think so." I shut the alarm off.
"I was lying on top of you."
"Crosswise. But we have avoided deliberately getting each other excited. That's enough that the devil can't legally tell us we are bad."
She looked at me in confusion.
"Yeah, that's bad analysis and bad hidden allegory. Anyway, we haven't taken a chance on pregnancy, and we're still trying to give each other room to make decisions."
"There's something I can understand and agree with. So, should we go to the pond park again today?"
"I need something to work the kinks out of my legs and back, even if you don't."
"I think I do, too."
"Want to try a new route?"
"Got something in mind?"
"We could explore some of the roads along the railroad tracks past the mall."
"Okay."
So we ran a different direction, around the mall to the tracks and past the station.
"Your woman on the train ..."
"My woman on the train?"
"I've done one date. It's your turn. And I'm ready to meet her now."
"Okay, I'll see what she says."
"Is this a park?"
"Huh? Yeah. Just a kids' playground, mostly."
"Exercise stations?" Teru stopped by a situps board.
"And I guess it has exercise stations. Want to try it?" I jogged backwards to where she was reading the instructions plaque.
She sat down on the board and swung around, hooking her feet under the foot pegs, then leaned back and did twenty situps. "Feels awkward."
"One size does not fit all."
We traded places, and I leaned back. My head and shoulders hung off the top of the board. "This will be a slightly different exercise for me." But I did twenty myself before we started running again.
"I don't know if I can get through another night like that." Teru's voice revealed how tired she was.
"I'm going to have a hard time staying awake on the train."
We kept running.
"I've said, if my mom or my sisters were close, they'd let you stay with them. Maybe we should actually ask if they've got room."
"Good idea. We should call when we get back."
So when we returned to the apartment, I sent them texts via our family group on Line:
Ryō: Need to do a conference call.We ate breakfast while waiting.
"You're on the early shift today, right?"
"Regular shift, starting at nine. Don't know if I'll have time to run before the early shift when they let me start that."
"No time to make lunch together today," Teru said wistfully.
"Yeah. But we'll have time after work to do something."
"Set your computer up for real?"
"That'd be useful."
"I can buy something from the sōzai corner for lunch. What do you plan to do?"
"It's my turn to be the lunch taster, so I've got my lunch covered."
"Is it good?"
"Generally pretty good, but not really to my taste."
My phone pinged, and I checked it.
Haruo: I've got about thirty minutes I can giveThe phone pinged again while I was trying to think where to start for Dad.
you. What's up?
Misachi: I can join the call anytime within theI figured it would be good to make myself explicit.
next hour. Dad, if Ryō says he needs a conference
call, I assume he wants to talk with us all at the
same time.
Ryō: Yeah. And I'm sure I don't trust this toFinishing breakfast, I pulled out my scriptures. "Are you up for some of this?"
text messages.
Haruo: Okay, I'll wait.
"I'm not going to be a good listener this morning."
"That's okay. Sometimes I get my best instruction when I read even though I don't feel like listening to the Spirit."
"Okay, I'll try."
"There's this guy named Nicodemus, and he's a rabbi among the Pharisees."
Teru gave me a blank look.
"He's like a teacher and a priest."
"A sensei?"
My phone pinged again.
Horoyo: I'm here whenever. Now we just needI ignored Mom's intuition and her bait, and initiated the video call session in the group. Mom did accept the connection and the screen divided in four.
Mom. Should I ping her by phone?
Fuyuko: I have a premonition this is a call
I don't want to be in on.
Horoyo: Mom, Ryō is your son.
Fuyuko: I have no son. There was some little
boy ran away to be with God for two years when
I needed him most, but I have no son.
Ryō: I love you, too, Mom. And I need you to
be in on this call, even though I'm sure
you'll think you didn't want to be.
Fuyuko: Hmph. I assume her name starts with
Teh.
Teru moved to sit beside me, so she would be in the camera range.
"Hi."
"Oh, Teru, it's so nice to see you." For some reason, my mother's voice did not betray the cattiness I expected. "Awfully early in the morning, though." The words were catty, but the tone was not.
"Nice to see you, too, Mom. Nice to see all of you." Teru wasn't put off by her words, either.
"So, Ryō, you move to the big city and spend the spring dating your nemesis?"
"Dad, just shut up and listen to your son." Horoyo took my side.
Misachi chose an inappropriate time to tease. "And to your daughter-in-law-to-be." Or maybe she knew she wasn't really teasing.
"Have you betrayed your covenants to God?"
"Haruo, just shut up." Even with the change in tone towards Teru, my mother's sharpness took me by surprise.
"Angel got a new boyfriend who would not keep his hands off me. Jun brought me here because he knew Ryō would take care of me."
"Ryō still needs his freedom."
"So does Teru, Haruo."
My father's expression visibly darkened at my mother's words.
"Okay, let me tell you what is before we start arguing about what should be. You know I needed to be where Jun couldn't find me, and that's why I didn't stay when I got home. You know how he used to try to take over my life. I've been working here about three and a half months in elder care, with no contact with the Sumaguchi family."
"But there you are with Teru." Dad interjected.
"Three days ago, Jun caught up with me and brought Teru, for her safety. It's the first I've seen either of them in over two years."
"Dad, I know something about this." Misachi took a turn. "What I have heard about Angel's new live-in boyfriend is anything but good. Jun was right in getting Teru out of there."
"And who put Angel together with this new boyfriend, I wonder."
"Yeah, Dad, I know." I swallowed. "Believe me, we know. Sometimes you have to play through check to protect your queen." I shut my eyes at the slip. "Or king or whatever."
Dad chuckled. "So, your queen is in your apartment. It looks like a really tiny apartment. Is there even a second room?"
"No."
"How can you maintain your covenants and your freedom in this situation?"
"We know, Dad. I'm doing what I can to help him."
"That's a bit hard to believe, Teru."
"Things have changed for me. We know staying together is not going to work, but I need a place to stay so I can finish high school."
Dad's expression loosened and lightened.
"That's, true, Teru. You needed a place to stay a long time ago." Suddenly his tone become apologetic. "Both you and Jun. I should have let Fuyuko offer you a permanent place years ago, even though I knew what Fumiyo was up to."
Mom and both of my sisters were as surprised as I at Dad's words.
"It's okay, Dad, it really wasn't our place to ask."
"You shouldn't have had to ask. I'm sorry." Dad's face suddenly crumpled. "I've been arguing with God about this for too long. I'm really sorry. Unfortunately, I don't have a place I can offer you right now."
"It's okay, Dad."
It took a few moments for the rest of us to recover from Dad's change in attitude.
"So we need to figure something out for you." Mom's face showed her concern. "I'm staying with my parents, and I'm not sure it would be wise to have you come here, honey, but I'll talk it over with them."
"Teru, you know we'd love to have you, but I don't think having you sleep with the boys would be good." Horoyo's two oldest were boys. "The baby sleeps with us, and that's all the rooms we have."
Misachi looked distressed. "Tomu and I only have one room and the kitchen. It's not much bigger than what you have with Ryō."
"I understand."
"Well, thanks. Just knowing you guys know what's going on will help. Anyway, I'm talking with the congregation leader here. Teru's coming to church tomorrow. Hopefully she'll make friends and we'll find something for her."
"Teru, please don't judge me wrong for this, but, Ryō, there's a woman there you need to meet."
Teru didn't wait for me to answer. "I understand about that, Dad."
"We both understand. We are trying to keep things open so that, if we are both still free when Teru graduates from high school, we can get together of our own free will. And we know that we have to keep dating others until she graduates."
Dad looked down. "Well, now I feel like a heel for interfering, but her name is Fumie Masamichi. I understand she attends a congregation near there. Yes, I asked the church where you were, Ryō." He looked back at us with a bit of a helpless expression. "From what I've heard about her, you would understand each other implicitly, Ryō."
"Starting with the same opinions, Dad, is not always the best course." Horoyo came to Teru's defense.
"I think I've met her, Dad."
Dad blinked.
"Probably not coincidence."
"If it's the woman Ryō has been talking to on the train, I'll meet her, too, soon."
"Teru, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I'd almost tell you to just take my son now, but I guess that wouldn't help."
"Mom!" My sisters were practically in unison in their objection.
"I'm not sure I disagree with Fuyuko about this."
How silence across a conference call line can be deafening, I'm not sure, but no one but Mom was expecting Dad to say such a thing.
"She did say almost, you know."
"I did," Mom agreed. "Go meet this Fumie and trust God."
"Thanks, you guys. No matter which directions things go, having you guys as family has always helped us. Jun feels the same way."
After we said goodbye and cut the connection, I wrote some scripture references down for Teru and ran for the train.
Backed up at https://joel-rees-economics.blogspot.com/2019/10/bk-sudden-roommate-6-night-horrors.html.
Earlier draft backed up at https://joel-rees-economics.blogspot.com/2019/10/bka-sudden-roommate-6-night-horrors.html.
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