Previous: The Woman on the Train
Dawn filtered in through the veranda window curtains. Drifting at the edge of sleep, I watched Teru as she slept on the other side of my futon, with the rolled-up kakebuton between us.
Her eyes opened and met mine. She reached out, placing her hand on the kakebuton between us, and I put my hand on hers.
"Run today?" She didn't look enthusiastic about the idea.
"I think we need a down day. It's Sunday."
She smiled in response. "Tomorrow, we conquer the world."
"Again."
She was quiet, and I drifted out again for a bit.
"Ryō?"
I drifted back. "Hmm?"
"So what do I do at church? I hope we don't just listen to o-kyō all day."
"Well, there are some sermons, and sometimes they are similar to o-kyō," I answered kind of randomly. "And there are classes to participate in, where we discuss what scriptures mean and how to follow Jesus and things like that. We have a congregational choir if we want to join that. And sometimes there are activities to plan.
"Activities? Group dates?"
"Maybe. Probably. Planning. I'm sure there will be some planning for the dance on Saturday. Anyway, some of it is boring, some is fun."
"Fun just doesn't sound like church. But I guess I just tag along today and see."
"Good idea. If it gets too boring, we can go for a walk or something."
"Okay."
Again we were both silent for a bit. I thought about getting up. "We could keep breakfast simple today."
"I want to make pancakes. I think we have the stuff to make them with."
"Simple pancakes," I yielded without a fight.
Teru laughed.
We continued to talk randomly for about a quarter hour, and then Teru kicked the kakebuton out of the way and scooted over to cuddle.
We nestled together for a minute or so, until I began to feel a bit of concern. "This is cheating, because waking up and cuddling in the morning with another date is something that will never happen. We need things we can compare."
Teru smiled. "But I need this." She gave me a peck on the lips before getting up.
I got up, too, and we dug flour and powdered milk out of my small cupboards, and real milk and eggs from the fridge, and started making pancake batter. I added kinako (roasted soy flour) to stretch the milk and improve the protein, over Teru's protests.
"It'll make them flat."
"A little apple vinegar and the real milk will help that."
"If we use all the milk there won't be any to drink."
"Stupid small fridge. We need a bigger one."
Teru looked at me with a small, timid smile.
"In a couple of years." I swallowed hard.
She brightened and nodded in partial agreement as we mixed things together.
We got some pancakes cooked, and I took a turn with the pan.
"So, did you understand what being born of water is?"
"Dunked in water? Getting baptized?"
"That's where it starts."
"I'll take the frying pan back, you read to me."
I let her take back over at the burner and got out my hardcopy scriptures, turning to Acts.
For John truly baptized with water; but ye shall be baptized with the Holy Ghost not many days hence."I guess I can see a connection."
I continued with the first verses of the next chapter.
... And there appeared unto them cloven tongues like as of fire, and it sat upon each of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, ..."I guess I know the expression 'baptism by fire' from somewhere. But it usually means going through some hard test, doesn't it?"
"Well, it's true that when things are hard and we choose to follow God anyway, that's when the Holy Spirit influences us most easily."
"Hmm. So if I tempt you and you refuse the temptation, you get this spirit thing?"
"Deliberately testing each other is usually against the rules."
"Darn. Is there a scripture for that?"
"I'm sure I can find one, but which should I do? Refuse or give in?"
I watched her focus on the pancake in the pan and get it browned just right, and slip it onto the waiting stack before she answered.
"You know, maybe I want both."
I laughed. "Time and season for everything."
"Is that a scripture?"
"The Preacher, I think." I found it in Proverbs, and read it to her as she slipped the last pancake onto the stack.
She cut off the flame and set the pan down to cool.
"It's strange. Something in my heart makes me feel happy to hear that verse. Is that your holy ghost?"
"Not just mine. Yours, too, responding to God's Holy Spirit."
"But -- is deciding to wait deliberately testing each other?"
The inside of my mouth turned dry and my stomach twisted.
"Never mind. I know." She turned and faced me resolutely. "When we're following God, it's not the same. Let's eat."
My stomach settled and my appetite returned. "No peanut butter in the fridge. We've got Nerigoma, how would that do?" Nerigoma is sesame paste, like tahini but with only the natural sesame oil.
"Uh, huh. Apples and plums from last night, too?"
"Of course."
As Teru ate her second pancake, she asked, between bites, "Do you trust God?"
I put down the knife I was using to spread nerigoma on my third and took her free hand in both of mine. "I know Jun says he doesn't think you guys got a fair deal, losing your real parents before you ever knew your real mother and having Aunt Fumiyo and Uncle Nozomu rescue you from your original stepparents, and then being taken away from Aunt Fumiyo when Uncle Nozomu died, --"
"Was killed."
"Was killed. And then bouncing around between foster homes and ending up with Angel and her string of abusive boyfriends. Only bribes and extortion can explain what happened."
Teru looked down at her pancake and nodded.
I sighed. "At least Aunt Fumiyo and Uncle Nozomu cared, in their way."
"So why should I trust your God? Why did I need to be born into the Sumaguchi family? If he exists, he must have let that happen."
"Mmm, yeah. Tell me this -- why should we be careful when testing each other?"
"What? Why ... because it can go too far."
"Too far?"
"Can't-fix-it too far. Too far to make up for."
"Right. Good. But, can God fix things for us?"
"Uhm, no? Wait. Yes?"
"Yes. Not only can God fix it no matter how far it goes, He does so."
"Really? He fixes it? When? Lots of people die tragic deaths." She put her fork down.
"In His own time. A lot of that has to wait for the next world. But this is why Jesus suffered and died for us. Because He did, He knows everything we can suffer, and He knows how to undo the damage. And He also knows which problems we need to experience to be able to grow in good ways."
"Feels like abuse to me."
"Jun's -- when Jun tried to teach me to fight and cheat, that felt like abuse to me. Aunt Fumiyo always trying to put you and me together sometimes felt like abuse to me. But when I learned to talk with God about it, He showed me how to learn things I needed from the experiences, and eventually how to forgive everyone -- without just giving in to what they were trying to get me to do."
I guess I wasn't paying attention to Teru's reactions as I continued.
"My two years of service was my opportunity to get myself emotionally untangled, to get free."
I realized I had explained one thing too far as Teru's face froze and she tried to keep from crumbling. So I reached across the tatami with my foot and tickled her knee with my toes. She swatted my foot away, so I slid my legs out from under the kotatsu and got up and crawled around it, and sat beside her, wrapping her into a hug.
She resisted, and I relented, leaving my arm across her shoulders. She didn't fight that.
"And here I am trying to drag you back." Tears welled up in her eyes and she closed them.
I kissed the corner of her eye, registering the salt in her tears. And I kept my mouth shut. She'd heard enough of that from me.
"Sympathy card?" she mumbled.
"It's only cheating if it doesn't really hurt inside. And I know there's no such thing as perfect freedom."
After a few minutes of silence, she said, "I really like Fumie."
"We've found a good friend."
"How can I like my rival so much?"
"Love your enemies? Although I don't really think she's your rival. You know, even the people closest to us can be our enemies in some senses. And there's nothing unusual about that."
"Nothing unusual?"
"Look at me and my dad. But we work things out."
I kissed her forehead.
"Are you really so okay with me manipulating you?"
"You could say I'm manipulating you, too. But we are really just negotiating. Manipulating is when there are no options allowed."
"You're not letting me think."
"Okay, I'll shut up now." I moved away, but she pulled me back, and we just sat quietly for maybe five minutes.
Finally she picked up her fork and took another bite. "I'm just being silly."
"Silly? Maybe ... but silly is okay sometimes."
At that, she burst into tears and buried her face in my chest, and I just held her until the tears subsided, and a minute or so after.
"I'm trying not to manipulate you." She sniffled, and I hunted for a tissue to give her.
She used the back of her hand before I could find one, so I wiped the back of her hand with mine. "Yeah, I know. And I'm trying to let you make your own choices, too."
"I need to go to the toilet."
I chuckled, and she stood and ducked into the combination unit bath and toilet, and shut the door behind her.
I picked up my fork to finish my pancake, sliding my plate over from the other side of the kotatsu.
"Uhm, Ryō?" Her voice was muffled by the door.
"Yeah?"
"This is embarrassing."
"What? I promise I won't tell anyone."
"Can you hand me my purse?" She opened the door.
"Purse?"
I picked it up from where it was lying against the wall and took it to her, being careful not to look in as I passed it through the door from the side.
"Wait." After a moment she handed it back out to me. "Thanks."
"Will you be okay?"
"Yeah. I'm just spotting early. Maybe that's why I'm being so silly."
"No worries."
"Can I ask another favor?"
"Sure."
"Could you get me another pair of my lacies?"
"In your suitcase, right?"
"Have I taken over any of your closet space or drawers yet?"
"No. So, yeah, your suitcase. But you do need your own space to keep things like your feminine hygiene stuff, so you probably should take over some of my space. Well, do you care which pair of pants?"
"Which pair do you like? No, I shouldn't ask you that. Whatever's on top."
I took the pair that was closest to the top in the suitcase and handed them to her through the door again, still being careful not to look in.
I heard her flush, and then I heard the sound of water running in the furo.
When she came out, she said, "It will be nice when you won't have to hide your eyes. Anyway, for now, I'll keep living out of my suitcase."
"We'll see."
"I washed them out." She held up the damp underwear for me to see.
"Oh. I guess we should run a load of laundry after all."
We put our laundry in the washer and finished eating breakfast, and then prepared for church. I took a few pictures of Teru in the outfit we had bought for her, so she could see how it looked again, because the mirror in the unit bath was not in the right position, and not big enough. She let me post them to the family Line group. And we hung out the laundry before we left.
Church was a twenty minute walk. We could have taken a bus, but neither of us thought it was worth the time to wait. As we approached the meetinghouse, we saw Fumie get off at the bus stop, coming the other way. She saw us and waved, and joined us as we went inside.
Since she was a youth advisor for the area, she knew the members Teru's age and introduced her to many of them before the organ music announced the beginning of communion and sermons.
The three of us sat together with some of the other young adults and older youth. Teru was attentive, abstaining from communion until she understood it better, listening to the witnessing and lay sermons, sometimes asking questions.
Sister Asatsuki finished the main sermon, and then Fumie joined Teru in the youth class, for emotional support, while I stayed out of the way and went to the young adult class. Some of the young adults asked me about Teru, and I explained that she was a friend's sister. I didn't mention where she was staying.
After the classes, the three of us talked with some of the other young adults and youth. Fumie unobtrusively redirected the conversation any time it got close to Teru's living arrangements.
Sister Asatsuki joined the group, and at a moment when the conversation was lively, she quietly asked me if she could talk with with Teru and me. I signaled Teru with my eyes, and then Fumie, and Teru and I slipped away while Fumie continued to talk with the others.
Sister Asatsuki joined us about a minute later.
Teru looked a little nervous as we entered her office.
"Teru, I'm glad you came today, and I'm glad to get an opportunity to get to know you a little."
"Uhm, thanks. It's a new experience, not as boring as I thought it would be. "
"That's good to hear. Now I have heard a little about you from Ryō and Fumie, and I trust their judgement. They have nothing but good to say about you."
Teru blinked and looked at me. I nodded in agreement and she smiled a little shyly. "Thanks, I guess."
I reached over and gave her hand a squeeze.
"Ryō's got a good head on his shoulders, so I'm willing to give both of you the benefit of the doubt, even in these unusual circumstances."
"I'm glad. I trust him, too."
"Now, I also want you know that most of the members would like to help in some way, but none of them feel they have room enough that you could stay and work and study without distractions. Now that they've met you, I'm hoping their feelings change. But I also took the liberty of taking the question up with the leaders of the area."
Teru just nodded.
I felt disappointed, thinking of Teru moving even farther away than to stay with a member of the congregation, but I didn't say so. "Okay, that'll be helpful. My boss at work is offering to ask around as well."
"What did you say to that?"
"I asked her to wait until we found out how things look here."
"Okay. By the way, how are the two of you handling things? Ryō, you indicated that you felt some romantic attachment to Teru, and that you felt it was returned."
Teru looked at me sideways, eyes questioning my sanity.
"I think we can trust Sister Asatsuki."
Teru's expression showed she was not entirely convinced.
"Would you mind talking with me alone, Teru?"
She looked at me again, and I nodded encouragingly.
"I guess I could."
I squeezed her hand again, then stepped outside, to find Fumie waiting in the hall.
"Are you wondering why I came today?"
"Yes and no. Half wondering why we never met before last week, but I guess you're busy in your own congregation and with the youth programs in the area."
Fumie smiled and wrinkled her brow, and then I remembered why I had thought on the train that she looked familiar.
"We have met, my first Sunday here."
She raised her eyebrows. "You seem to spend a lot of time on the trains in your own world."
"How many times did I fail to even notice you?"
"Who's counting?"
"Sorry."
She grinned. "Well, it was a small blow to my ego," she joked. "But I guess I can understand why, seeing what's happening with you and Teru."
"Er, thanks. It's good of you to come to watch after her today."
She continued to smile. "Glad to be able to help. Have you been looking into getting her into a school yet?"
"Let myself get too busy."
"I don't know if I'd say that, but let's see what we can find out now."
We took out our phones, and together we looked up school programs that would allow her to work and finish high school.
I was beginning to wonder what was taking so long when Sister Asatsuki stepped out and asked to talk with me alone. Teru was looking much more comfortable as we traded places.
"So, how confident of your feelings towards Teru are you?"
"Wow. That's a surprise question."
"She is very confident of her feelings towards you."
"With her situation, growing up within the kumi, I'm pretty sure she needs some time to be free before she takes on the burdens of making her own family."
"That's important, but it's not what I'm asking."
"We've known each other pretty much all our lives, and I've had a pretty big crush on her for as long as I remember. I was kind of planning on trying to contact her without tangling myself up with her older brother again, if I could, once things got stable here."
"That's also important, but it's not what I'm asking."
"And, at this point, I'm planning on asking her to enter my family registry once she turns eighteen. She knows I could not enter her family registry."
That's the way the laws in this country work. One will enter the other's family registry -- effectively chattel. Still, love, that greatest of social engineers, manages to build paths around the law in good relationships. And bad relationships tend toward possessiveness, even in the west where love is said to be so free.
"That's what I wanted to ask you. But do you think it would be hard to get her guardian's permission, if there were reason not to wait?"
I responded with a guarded, "No. The police tell me that her brother is now officially her guardian. I have strong reason to believe he would be only too happy to give his permission."
"If worst comes to worst about getting her a safe place to live, I'm inclined to tell you not to be so idealistic about her needs to experience freedom. You could both lose something wonderful, while you're reaching for something perfect."
I thought for a moment. "If it comes to that, I probably I won't need you to tell me."
"Good." She stood up and opened the door.
"Teru? Fumie?"
I puzzled over why she would be calling Fumie in.
They came in together, and Sister Asatsuki shut the door behind them.
Fumie looked at me. "Ryō, would it be okay with you if my family offered to accept Teru while she finishes high school?"
I looked at Teru, and she bit her lip, and at first she shook her head. "No, I don't want to do this. I've been hoping there wouldn't be anyone willing to put me up." She took a breath and looked at Fumie before continuing, "But it may be a good idea. Can I meet your family first?"
I looked at Sister Asatsuki.
"Yes, Fumie did mention this to me."
I turned back to Fumie. "You've talked it over with your parents, then?"
"We had a family council last night. Everyone prayed, and we decided we should offer."
"They know she has connections with the Sumaguchi family?"
"Yeah."
I suppressed my own disappointment and turned back to Teru. "Then let's go meet her family today, if it's all right."
Backed up at https://joel-rees-economics.blogspot.com/2019/10/bk-sudden-roommate-8-first-sunday.html.
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